May 26, 2011

I Think I’m Trippin’ Y’all!

Posted in Disability, Prayer Request at 8:36 pm by Sarah Bosse

This week, for the first time in literally 3 years, I am going on a trip that will take me more than 2 hours from my home.  This is the first time in 3 years that I’ve been able to go that far before!  And if it wasn’t for my wheelchair, I wouldn’t be able to go!!  God has used that wheelchair to give me SO MUCH MORE FREEDOM than I had before!
I’m going to Florida with friends – we’re going to a Christian conference (  😀  And I’m so excited!  I’ve been cooking most of the day today (except during the hours I was working from 4p-9p) and making meal plans so that I can pack two coolers and a box with food I can take on the trip since everything I eat must be prepared ahead of time in my allergen-free kitchen because my allergies and the severity of my celiac disease and gluten ataxia really are life-threatening.
I can’t believe I’m doing this in some ways!  😀  I mean, I’ve adjusted my lifestyle SO MUCH to work with my increased limitations over the last few years.  I’ve given up so much just in the name of “surviving”.  So, to finally do something that I like and that I’ve not been able to do for years is really amazing to me.
I just don’t want to miss this opportunity to be grateful, you know?  We all take SO MUCH FOR GRANTED!  And here I am!  I’m able (I think – we’ll find out for sure!) to travel for a few days, and even if it requires extensive planning (how to fit a wheelchair, crutches, coolers and a box of food with a luggage bag and pillows and medications…into a car that other people are riding in; how to avoid contamination while traveling; how to manage pain when riding in the car; how to sleep on a flat bed that most people sleep on without waking up a lot from spasms; etc), it’s worth it for me to GET OUT AND LIVE and ENJOY life and be with PEOPLE, and have a vacation where I can listen to excellent preaching, teaching, join thousands of others in worship, and have dedicated time to read the Word and soak in more of the knowledge of God and His grace.  Isn’t that worth so much?!  Wow. I feel really blessed!  I might be the most blessed person in the United States…no…in the WHOLE WORLD!  Really!  Can you think of anyone who has it better than I do?!  I can’t!  God and my friends and church have been so kind to me.
Please pray for safe travels for everyone going.  And for me especially, please pray for pain control, and that I will have energy while there to be “all there”.  Please also ask that I would hear the Holy Spirit clearly and have very refreshing time in the Word.  I also need an appetite so that I will want to eat, and I need to sleep well enough to function.  I’m sure I’m forgetting something.  If you happen to think of something I left out, please also add that in!  😀  Your prayers are coveted.
Thanks, friends!!  😀  Here we go!!!!!!

February 20, 2011

Broken and Crying Out

Posted in Prayer Request at 10:56 pm by Sarah Bosse

God is calling me to even stricter diligence in my daily life.  Diligence to sleeping at a certain time, rising at a certain time, eating at a set time and certain foods to better maintain my health, etc.  He has laid it on my heart and has even used friends of late to bring this conviction more fully to bear upon me, not in judgment, but in grace and a desire to see me grow in godliness.
My flesh rebels, however, and this strictness, it feels, is the very death of me, a terrifying and slow suffocation.  But what am I to say?  That I do not sense the conviction of the Spirit of God?  That I prefer my own way, though filled with error and selfishness, pride that elevates my desires above the desire that God be glorified?  Oh Lord, let this not be the description of my life!!
Tears roll freely down.  My heart is feeling broken tonight, and I sense I will be spending hours this week on my face before God.  I cannot do this alone – it isn’t in me.  I am so weak, so tired, so frail, so exhausted by the constant battle.
…but He is so strong, and I know He wants to show that His power is perfected by giving me – the weakest one – victory that points myself and others wholly back to Him, for His glory.
This battle really isn’t physical; it is primarily spiritual, as my spirit is strengthened in Him and my body and flesh is mortified.  The battle is the Lord’s.  I can choose to go in His strength, upheld by His power.
In prayer, please “hold my weary arms up” as I cry out to God for His help and His victory in my life in so many areas, that I may become a woman whose life pleases God and brings Him great glory.  Though it costs me all, what is not already God’s that I should withhold from Him?
Lord, help me.

December 6, 2010

Prayers In The Night – a prayer poem for a friend

Posted in Disability, Poetry, Prayer Request at 1:08 am by Sarah Bosse

Prayers In The Night
written for a friend
Friday, 5.29.09, 2:15am

Our prayers are that this night
you will receive peace and rest,
and wake in the morning fully refreshed
by the incomprehensible power of God.

The Lord goes before you
and you are not alone.
Your Heavenly Father adores you;
His child He will not give a stone.

Through all these days, years, months, and miles,
He has walked you through every fiery trial
For His own glory and your eternal good.

The Sovereign Lord who created the galaxies
Condescended to become human flesh.
Tempted and tried, hung on a cross to die,
Knowing all manner of grief and pain.

Yet three days later He rose again!
And we are granted life through His resurrection.
The power of God that raised Christ will raise us too
so that in this Christian life, we will be made new.

Turn to Him now and look upon His face,
and the world will grow dim in the light of His grace.

Hear your Savior interceding for you with perfect prayers,
pointing to His wounds, how He bought you fair and square.
No evil may touch you, no pain and no harm,
but that which the Lord allows; so do not be alarmed.
“Fear Not!” the Lord said to fearful disciples many a time;
“I control the wind and waves; they obey my voice and are mine.”

We obey Your voice and come to You right now;
before Your throne we humbly bow,
seeking Your face and the light of Your grace
to fill us with increased faith.

How grateful we are to have a high priest
Who knows that we are frail and weak,
who remembers that we are but dust
and loves us still; and so we trust His sovereign will.


Sarah M. Bosse

Lord, Make Me A Thirsty Sea Sponge

Posted in Poetry, Prayer Request at 12:27 am by Sarah Bosse

Lord, make me a thirsty sea sponge.

Without nourishment the sea sponge has no potential on dry land.
But dip it into the River and watch as it expands.
Then it is full and leaking refreshing waters wherever it goes.
And when it is taken back to the dry shore,
It refreshes those to whom it is bestowed.
But bring it back again to its source of water flows
So that it can be used again to spread the fame of Him who dips and serves
and sows.

The sponge does not move of its own volition,
But of the will of the One who uses it for His will’s fruitition.
The sponge cannot grow legs, no not even if it tried.
It even needs the hands of the Master to squeeze out the filth,
to cause those rushing waters to come in and make it alive.

The sea sponge is a mighty creation because it’s thirst will never end.
Fill it up, wring it out, and it is thirsty yet again.
Let me never be, Lord, satisfied with the stale water that might sit inside.
Bring me back, bring me back, bring me back to that River of Life.

The River of Life is so deep and so wide that a whole host of sea sponges
Could never ever quench it’s awesome tide.
Let me never think that I’ve absorbed all of You there is to obtain
Lest you leave me on the dry shore and there forever I remain.

Sarah M. Bosse 9.2.05

August 23, 2010

Lest I Forget Thy Love For Me, Lead Me To Calvary

Posted in Devotionals, Hymns / Songs / Lyrics, Prayer Request tagged , , , , , , , , , at 10:35 pm by Sarah Bosse

Sometimes I walk through some deep and dark valleys that probably only those who have walked the same paths could understand.  I can hardly say that I “understand” them; “familiar” may be a better word.  Despair, darkness, dryness, death.  That’s what resides in those valleys.

Yet there’s something else that resides there as well.  And it may take a while to dig down to hit that Bedrock, yet it exists.  How the Spirit of God could speak to me through the darkness is a mystery to me.  When I feel like I don’t even WANT God, He can break through my hardness and anger.  All glory to Him for that.

Through my most recent valley, the words that the Spirit keeps speaking to me are short and simple, yet full.  “Lest I Forget Thy Love For Me, Lead Me To Calvary”.  That’s it.  Yet it means so much.  There are at least two angles from which to view this phrase; how it illuminates our human condition, and how it gives glory to God’s perfect condition.

I’m forgetful, I’m lowly, unworthy, rebellious, sinful, debase, detestable.  I both CAN and DO forget my Savior’s love for me.  I CAN and DO get distracted by every thought and wave, sweeping and tossing me to and fro.  I CAN and DO get angry with God, my Creator, and the Lover of my soul.  Whether I’m in the mood to admit it or not, I need a Savior.  I need a Calvary.  I needed Him to die for me.  And I need to die to my sin.

From the perspective of God’s perfection and – glory be to God – His grace; I can also rejoice in the fact that He has provided all that I need and more.  He is humble, but holy.  He became my substitute and took the wrath that I deserve.  He loves me, regardless of what I think of myself and my human condition or circumstances.  What’s amazing is that He also LEADS me.  There’s no reason He should, but He chooses to.  Even when I want nothing to do with Him, nothing to do with life or living or fighting or or or…He’s there with open arms.  He’s both my Bedrock and my Comforter.

And this one line, of this old hymn my parents used to sing in harmony during our long car rides to Maine and back as a young child, came back to me and has pierced a shaft of light through what feels like unbearable gloom.

“Lest I Forget Thy Love For Me, Lead Me To Calvary”

Sometimes the lights are turned out and it’s so dark I can’t process Scripture; Scripture feels overwhelming.  But God’s Spirit is still with me in the deepest depths, and He speaks.  Just a few words.  And what He says that surpasses words is still understood.  The Spirit says, “This is what you are to pray right now; “Don’t let me forget Your Love, God!  Hold me!  And lead me by the hand to the place where You showed your great Love for me – take me to Your cross, so that I can smell the rough and splintered wood, see the blood that ran in a continuous stream from Your head to Your feet, still fresh, feel the tremors of the very earth below my feet on the day that You died as the earth quaked and the tombs of the dead were opened as the dead were raised, feel the strong and gusting wind pushing against my body as the sky darkens and the terrifying storm rolls in, causing the centurions to quake in their armor.  Its as if the foundations of all creation are about to come undone in testimony to Your divine love, all loves eternally excelling.  Satan is defeated and his roaring is silenced for a time as the heavens watch in awe, only to be deafened again by the rejoicing in heaven and loudest praise of all the heavenly hosts in chorus.  Lead me, God, to THIS Calvary.   The Calvary of Satan’s defeat and God’s victorious love, displayed as the greatest Sacrifice ever to be made.  Don’t let me forget this Calvary, this Savior, this Love.  Help me, Lord!”

Lead Me To Calvary

Words: Jennie E. Hussey, 1921     Music: Wil liam J. Kirk Patrick

King of my life, I crown Thee now,
Thine shall the glory be;
Lest I forget Thy thorn crowned brow,
Lead me to Calvary.
Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.
Show me the tomb where Thou wast laid,
Tenderly mourned and wept;
Angels in robes of light arrayed
Guarded Thee whilst Thou slept.
Let me like Mary, through the gloom,
Come with a gift to Thee;
Show to me now the empty tomb,
Lead me to Calvary.
May I be willing, Lord, to bear
Daily my cross for Thee;
Even Thy cup of grief to share,
Thou hast borne all for me.

May 29, 2010

Humbling Love and Conviction

Posted in Devotionals, Prayer Request, Stories tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 11:33 pm by Sarah Bosse

Last week, I sinned a doozie. I lost my patience with a particular person, rolled my eyes, argued, huffed and puffed, raised my voice, and came very close to slamming a door. In short, it was not pretty. Worse was the fact that this person wasn’t a Christian, (wasn’t even a person in my family) and therefore I did terrible damage to the Gospel and this person’s view of Christians in general. You would be right in shaking your head as you read this, for it was an awful sight. Worse still is the fact that what showed on the outside (my facial expressions, tone of voice, huffing and puffing, and general demeanor) was restrained compared to the anger, frustration and agitation I felt on the inside. Indeed, if I had blown up as seriously on the outside as I was blowing up on the inside, the situation would have been far worse.

But oh, it does get worse. Yes, much much worse. Because I felt justified in my reaction towards this person and used the situation and this person’s response to me as my basis of justification for my anger and blow-up. Two days passed. I still had the event in my mind and was still somewhat angry, though mildly convicted that I did something wrong. I was still generally unwilling to consider my responsibility in what happened. It took a loving Christian friend coming to me and simply saying, “You know, you offended that person and didn’t do the Gospel any service through your behavior” to finally bring the Holy Spirit’s conviction to my heart and cause me to truly pause and consider God in the midst of that event, my feelings, my actions, and my desire to just sweep it under the rug and call it “good”.

Whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not, the Holy Spirit – God Himself – was there with me while I was blowing up at this person. He was watching and knowing. God the Father knew what I was doing, what I was thinking. And now that I think about God being there, I can imagine Jesus on the cross in that room, bleeding for me while I raised my voice in argument against this other person. Yes, on Calvary He bled for that sin….for those MANY sins that occurred in those few moments and for the many sins of omission (unwillingness to repent, to ask for forgiveness, to recognize and turn from my sins, to turn to God rather than to self-justification, ignoring the imploring of the Holy Spirit who calls me to holiness…) that occurred afterwards. He was there. And where was I at that moment? Living in my old flesh, not giving one thought to His presence, His precious blood, His grace and mercy that saved me, and the fact that “my” life is NOT my own, but belongs to Him who called me out to be part of a people for Himself and His bride.

The Holy Spirit drew me to the Word. Love was His theme. Love was God’s theme when He sent His Son to die for me, and love must be my theme to the God who is worthy of all praise. Moreover, love must be my theme to all men, a reflection of the Gospel living in and through me. Oh Lord, help me to live this call!

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Without love, I can do nothing good. Okay, so what is real love then?

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.

Ouch. Rewind. Was I patient with this person? Definitely NOT. Was I kind? No. Was I arrogant or rude? Both. Did I insist on my own way? Yes, I love being “right”. Was I irritable or resentful? Entirely to the core. Was I bearing with this person and believing the best about this person and this person’s motives? No. Was I enduring? Hardly. Well, that sure did hit the nail on the head, didn’t it?!

God also calls me to live at peace with everyone, as much as it is my responsibility to do so. Their responsibility is their own, over which I have no control. But my responsibility is to take care of the portion that God has given me, over which to exercise self-control…and trust you me; that is MORE THAN enough.

Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” That’s simple enough to understand, whether I want to understand it or not.

And yet it’s more than just living peaceably that the Bible calls us to.

Romans 12:9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.

Romans 13:7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. 8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law….12 So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in…quarreling and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

I do not want others to fall in the same ways I have fallen to sin. My actions last week were a disgrace to the Gospel of God. Yet there is hope even for a sinner such as me, and there is hope for all who are chosen of God and born of God. We are no longer slaves to sin because our happy bondage is now to Christ.

Romans 6:1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? 3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. 7 For one who has died has been set free from sin. 8 Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. 10 For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. 11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. 13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. 14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

15 What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16 Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, 18 and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. 19 I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And how does this all apply back to the topic of loving others?

Galatians 5:13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. 16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

By the Power, that is, God, which raised Christ Jesus from the dead, we also are raised to newness of life in Christ. That same Power is living in those who belong to Christ, and through Him we are able to obey His commands with joy. The fruit of our union with Christ will be evident:

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Love is requiring humility in my heart that, apart from God, is nonexistent. Jesus’s love for us was the ultimate example of humility. The fragments of humility required of me in love to others, especially in this situation where I’ve grievously sinned, don’t require an atom of condescension on my part. What I mean is…I’m just a human. Other people are humans. I must be humble towards them and put their needs above my own, considering them more important than myself. But in physical terms, we’re on the same playing field – we’re all human and sinners deserving the wrath of a Holy God. When I compare my responsibility to humility to Jesus’s task, my part becomes “no big whoop”. Jesus was GOD. He humbled HIMself to man, and not just in little ways (such as not arguing), but in keeping his heart’s thoughts pure towards others who REVILED Him, beat Him, said that He was NOT God and that He was blaspheming, and schemed countless times to stone Him to death, and finally did beat Him to unrecognizability, and then hung Him on a shoddy-built cross with a vandalizing sign nailed above His sacred head. I did that. I beat my Savior with my sin. And yet He never once hated me or wished me ill. He had only LOVE in His pure heart towards me. Wow. That’s a thought! And that is GRACE – AMAZING GRACE.

And this coming week, when I have the first opportunity to see the person whom I greatly offended, I will have the opportunity to humble myself first before God (for though I’ve already done this, it is a continual and moment-by-moment process in my heart), and then before the person I’ve hurt. I am grieved until that time, and I believe it is in God’s providence that I have several days to meditate on His Word and listen to His Holy Spirit before I am able to speak with this person again and make known my repentance. And the next step for me now is to pray that He will also give me the humility to ask this person to please “tell me if you ever see me acting in a way that is unloving, not patient, unkind, arrogant, rude, insisting, restful, or irritable.” Hopefully by asking for her input, my heart will further be on guard against sinful desires in the future; as being convicted by one who is not a Believer should be something that breaks my very heart. Help me to live for you, Lord, and to deny myself!

Why am I writing about this? First, because I am grateful for the Holy Spirit’s work of conviction in my heart. Even when my heart is so hardened towards His Spirit and my God-given conscience is broken or purposely ignored, He comes in and brings light to my darkness. This is a grace, friends! He doesn’t leave me in my sin and filth and shame, but exposes it so that I may grow in Christ-likeness. Oh, what grace! And there is still more grace to be shown. While I, even His child (!), am sinning and rebelling, He sees me not as a damnable sinner, but as a Saved, Forgiven, Justified, child who wears the Righteousness of Christ Jesus.

When I feel like my sin has distanced me from His loving gaze and when I feel the tangling chords of guilt wrap around me and avert my eyes from my Bible and heaven, I have His promises to stand on….and HIS GRACE! And the more I see His unfathomable grace for what it truly is (especially in contrast to my sin), the more I am amazed by Grace and desire to walk in a way that is honoring to the God and Gospel that has saved me.

Writing can also be a means of “speaking the truth to myself”. It’s a way to organize so many different swirling and otherwise disorganized thoughts into a more cohesive package that I can refer back to as needed. I would greatly appreciate your prayers as God seeks to grow me in love. Praise be to God, for His love endures forever (1 Corinthians 13:8)!

February 15, 2010

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892 – 1971)

Posted in Devotionals, Prayer Request tagged , , , at 10:31 pm by Sarah Bosse

The Full Original Copy of the Serenity Prayer
by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.


Diagnosis Dependency

Posted in Disability, Prayer Request tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 10:27 pm by Sarah Bosse

This has been an interesting week.  I’ve seen a few doctors, had my blood drawn and a few x-rays taken, and continued to push through each exhausting day by the grace of God.  I received the diagnosis of Celiac Disease this week.  I wasn’t surprised – I have been on a gluten-free diet since July 28, 2009 – about six months – because I strongly suspected either gluten intolerance or Celiac Sprue.

There are two ways to react to a diagnosis that I think are common among people who have been SEARCHING for the right diagnosis for a long time (i.e. years).  First, there is relief. Relief in the fact that a few of the unknowns are now known and there is a potential plan (depending on the diagnosis) for what one can do to improve his/her quality of life.  Then the second response is sadness. Sadness because, while it’s nice to have answers, a person must still live with his/her diagnosis on a daily basis.  And these two feelings alternate and intermingle.  I feel both relief and sadness, often at the same time.

My doctor thinks there may still be more behind my ills than simply Celiac Disease.  So while it’s nice to have a diagnosis that I can do something about (The way to control Celiac Sprue is to avoid all gluten-containing foods…easier said than done, but possible.), we don’t have all the answers.  Is my fibromyalgia caused by Celiac Disease and the resulting nutritional deficiencies?  Is it caused by something else – some other autoimmune disorder?  There are still many more questions than answers.

So I called a friend earlier this week to discuss my thoughts and frustrations.  We talked for a while about how we were each “searching for the right diagnosis”.  She had sought a diagnosis for more than 10 years and finally been diagnosed.  But then, this year, her new doctor wasn’t convinced of her diagnosis and she’s back at square one, being told that her doctors “don’t know what she has”.  Ouch.  I’ve been told it was everything from IBS to a problem “in [my] head,” and now it’s Celiac Disease.  The diagnosis keeps changing, and probably will continue to change as the years march on.

It is easy to get caught in the trap of seeking worldly wisdom or knowledge.  There’s a certain level of false comfort one can receive from believing that he/she now has been correctly diagnosed and that doctors know what to do about the problem.

There are several reasons for why this is a FALSE comfort:
*  We may put our faith in doctors (people…some of them are at least…), rather than in the Great Physician – God.  Everyone but God may fail us, but God remains true to His Word.
*  A diagnosis may change over time; God doesn’t change.
*  Being so focused on having a diagnosis may lead us to value comfort in this life (so-called “quality of life”?) over living for God’s purposes (which, by the way, don’t frequently take personal comfort into account).
*  Our thoughts may be taken up with thinking too much of ourselves and “our problems” rather than with asking God what He wants us to do with the brief time He’s put us on earth.  We meditate on ourselves rather than on God, and therefore do not love the Lord with our minds.

Mark 12:28 And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,and do not lean on your own understanding.6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

There are some real promises here in Proverbs 3.  If we trust the Lord, depending on Him rather than on a diagnosis, and we let go of our conceptions of “wisdom” and seek spiritual wisdom from His Spirit, submitting our meditations and worries to His care, thereby turning away from evil…God says that this will be healing for our flesh and refreshment to our bones.  There’s a real physical and spiritual gain to be had here by adopting God Dependency and forsaking Diagnosis Dependency.

Trusting God means we don’t get dejected. We will still have emotions – we are human; not robots…and even God has emotions.  But our joy doesn’t ride on the back of a diagnosis – it soars on the wings of Love, over and above everything that a diagnosis does or does not mean during our short lives.  That “healing to your flesh” and “refreshment to your bones” might well come from NOT WORRYING.

Matthew 11:25 At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; 26 yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. 27 All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

The “burden” we have when we concern ourselves with the things of God is lighter than the burden we carry when we concern ourselves with matters that should be God’s to handle in the first place.  He gives us fewer to take on than we choose or try to take on ourselves.  And so we worry about things we cannot change.

James MacDonald assembles these ideas succinctly:

“Rest is best understood as “peace without resolution”….I have been poring over Psalm 37, praying for understanding as to how that promised rest (Matthew 11:28-30) is experienced.  My study and meditation on Psalm 37 has yielded this single insight which has been incredibly impacting for me.

Trust without Waiting = Striving. I have done too much of that.  Proverbs 20:3, “It is good that a man should stop striving.”

Waiting without Trusting = Worrying. I have done too much of that.   Matthew 6:25, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life.”

Trusting + Waiting = Rest. I trust that God will work for my good.  I have done what I know to do, and now I must wait for Him.  I am at rest!  I have peace without resolution, and it is a wonderful experience for which I thank the Lord.”

God, please help me to adopt God Dependency and forsake my sinful Diagnosis Dependency.  Help me to trust you, stop worrying and striving, and take up the rest and healing you promise to give.  I don’t need to know all the answers – YOU are my Answer, Lord.  Thank You for Your faithfulness and steadfast love.

January 20, 2010

Jesus Christ Is Sovereign Over Breast Cancer

Posted in Poetry, Prayer Request, Update tagged , , , , , , , , at 11:00 pm by Sarah Bosse

You never seem to believe it’s possible it could happen in your family until, well…it happens. But once it’s here, it seems like it will always be here and never fully gone. I’m talking about cancer. On January 5th, 2010, my Mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It took me by shock and I wasn’t quite sure what to say when I got the call. I just prayed and didn’t tell anyone for a few days…just trying to process it in my mind. Then I spoke with a woman who has battled cancer several times. She said, “Just hate it for your family that the big C has entered your life but …we have a “C” in our lives that is supreme to cancer.”

Jesus Christ Is Sovereign Over Breast Cancer - by Sarah M. Bosse

Jesus Christ Is Sovereign Over Breast Cancer - by Sarah M. Bosse

What this woman said has been rolling around in my brain for a few weeks now (it’s only been two weeks but it already feels like several months since that phone call).   As I thought about her words, I created the picture posted here with word art and breast cancer awareness ribbons.  She spoke such a simple exhortation, but it really affected me and encouraged me to “look up and see [my] Savior raised”. He has triumphed over the grave and holds the keys of life and death.

John 1:1-5a

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shineth in darkness….

Please join me in praying for my Mom.  Mom has confessed and believes in God’s sovereignty over her cancer.  At times like this, when life gets hard and gritty, the perfect pairing of God’s sovereignty with His love constitutes the balm that soothes the aching soul.  Pray for God’s closeness during this season and for His mercy during surgery, chemotherapy, and healing.  I am praying that God will strengthen Mom so that she is a strong witness to the awesome power of God working through our weaknesses and that many people will see a living sacrifice of a life well-lived for God and respond in praise to Him for all that He has done.

My family thanks you for your prayers.

If you are interested in using this copyright design, please visit my Zazzle store to view and purchase products with excellent image quality and work(woman)ship.

Sarah M. Bosse

January 6, 2010

Haven’t Written Much Lately

Posted in Development, Prayer Request, Update tagged , , , , , , , , , at 6:28 pm by Sarah Bosse

To those who actually keep up with my blog, I apologize! I haven’t written much lately, especially in the last two months or so. Please forgive me. Here are some things you can be praying for, for me:

* That a very close friend of mine who has cancer would endure and avail herself of God’s strength.
* That my brother’s upcoming wedding will go well and I’ll be prepared to play (flute) and the pianist will be ready too (she has a hand injury at a bad time!).
* That God would grow me in God-likeness so that my life is a pleasing sacrifice to my Maker.
* That I would get more hours of work and be able to begin working from home (quickly).
* That God would continue to help me use my time wisely during the day to His glory, that I would gladly accept the help He provides, and that I would take more delight in obedience.
* That I would endure and seek the Lord both during times of pain/discomfort and during times of ease, so that in all situations, my heart would be drawn to Him.

I hope to get back to writing devotionals, music, poetry, and all the rest soon. But it will probably be after the middle of January (after my brother’s wedding). Thanks for both your patience and prayers!! Maybe I’ll take a few minutes to throw ya’ll a bone (i.e. a short blog post besides this one). 🙂

Sarah M. Bosse

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