December 8, 2009
Confessions of a Creature Dependent on God # 3 – Frustrated And Selfish…Or Infatuated With God
Posted in Devotionals, Prayer Request tagged 1 Cor 1:18, all-sufficiency, anger, become like Christ in His death, dependent on God, depression, dying to self, frustrated, gifts of God, go to the Cross, grace, health, hope, ignore, infatuated, joy, lose all gain Christ, resentment, self-pity, selfish desires, strength, stubborn at 11:55 pm by Sarah Bosse
Tonight I’m finding myself frustrated; just plain old frustrated with pain, difficulty breathing and fighting constantly to be healthy when it seems my body doesn’t want to cooperate in the effort. I’m tempted to give in to self-pity, anger, resentment against God, and depression. But that’s not what God is calling me to.
Instead, God has exceedingly good things planned for me amidst the strife. Joy, hope, peace, grace, and strength all coming straight from His nail-pierced hands are meant to flow into my life. And I can choose whether to accept these gifts with humble gratitude or to turn my back stubbornly on both God and His gifts, while they persistently sit there unopened, unused, and ignored.
While I am infatuated with myself and my selfish desires, I cannot be filled to overflowing and infatuated with God. What’s more, I cannot glorify God. The whole point of the Cross is to get me From looking at myself To looking up to Christ, my all-sufficiency. If I miss that, then I miss the main thing. This is yet one more time when I need to become like Christ in dying to myself and living for God.
“I become like Christ in His death. I die to my own self-pity, my own whining and complaining about my lot in life. I die to resentment or bitterness or the itchiness to getting things my way. I die to comparing myself to other people who are healthier or more physically fit. I die to the small-minded, mean-spirited petty thoughts. And I become like Christ in His death.
But we are told in I Cor 1:18 that the Cross is the power of God. If we want power to work our way through the day, you gotta find it at the Cross. The Gospel just isn’t something that was preached to you 15, 25 years ago when you got saved. No. We are saved, we are being saved, and we will be saved. Everyday I gotta preach the gospel to myself, friends. I can’t do this on my own. I need Jesus desperately. I’m sure that’s why He said in the beatitudes, right off the top of the list, “Blessed are you if you come to me in empty-handed spiritual poverty. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are those who know they can’t make it on their own. For yours is the kingdom of heaven.” And not just the kingdom of heaven. When you go to the cross, you get power, you get peace, you get a brighter perspective on your day, you get hope, and you get joy. It’s the only way to live. It’s the Christian way to live. It’s the Biblical way to live.
Christianity is not a religion of winners – it is a faith journey of loosers. People like you and me who have lost our winnings in this world and know, like Abraham, that he is heading toward a better country. And you too, like him, wake up in the morning like me, needing God desperately. And God always seems bigger to those who need Him most.”
Joni Eareckson Tada, “Hope Is The Best Gift,” DVD.
Please, Lord, help me even tonight to put aside the bitterness in my heart that rises up against Your Holiness. I do not want to be an enemy of God, but a friend of God. But even this requires Your miraculous work in my spirit. 1 Cor 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” Help me to endure in faith. Help me joyfully lose all so that Your all-sufficiency might shine as a witness and testimony in my life to the power of the Cross of Jesus Christ. Don’t let my weakness be wasted, Lord. Use it to show Your power and Yours alone.
Amen (and women)!